INTERGENERATIONAL CONNECTIONS
DINNER and CONVERSATION with SOU STUDENTS

                            On Making Your Own Path  by Barbara Cervone

On April 17th, the third of three small “dinners and conversation” between SOU women students and AAUW members unfolded at my house, once again uniting minds and hearts across generations. At last June’s board retreat, I offered to organize these gatherings, building on a comparable program I’d launched the previous year between SOU Honors College students and community leaders.

Our first gathering, this past November, focused on teaching and learning. It  brought together female-identifying undergrads and master’s students in education, along with Catherine Lutes and Susan Stitham. The second event joined SOU students and AAUW’s Regina Ayars, Susan Jain, and Pam Shay around the topic of “becoming a leader.”

The invitation to SOU students for the April 17th gathering began:

“Rarely are opportunities presented to you in a perfect way — in a nice little box with a yellow bow on top. ‘Here, open it, it’s perfect. You’ll love it.’ Opportunities – the good ones – are often messy, confusing and hard to recognize”…  – Susan Wojcicki (CEO, YouTube).

“Sometimes the future changes quickly and completely, and we’re left with only the choice of what to do next. We can choose to be afraid of it. Or we step forward into the unknown, and assume it will be brilliant.” – Sandra Oh, actor.

“If they don’t give you a seat at the table, bring a folding chair.”
– Shirley Chisolm, first Black woman to be elected to the US Congress.

Reimagining what is possible, seizing opportunities, learning from mistakes, standing up for what you believe — these are part of their “secret sauce” women who’ve made their own path will tell you.

The Ashland Branch of the American Association of University Women (AAUW) would like to invite you to a small dinner and discussion in which we explore together these dynamics.

The AAUW participants in the April gathering included Phyllis Fernlund and Marilyn Hawkins, who brought, respectively, lifelong experiences in higher education and communications.

The students included three juniors. Garima — who arrived on our doorstep in tears after a showdown with her Hindu, Indian father about succumbing to arranged marriage — has already stood up and out at SOU: she’s on the SOU Board of Trustees, Chief Justice of the ASSOU, President of the Black Student Union, and a Resident Assistant. Sierra, whom I met a year ago, has been a leader in SOU’s sustainability initiatives. Jaycee, after majoring in biology, has switched to digital cinema and stage production.

Emma and Jill, both fresh(wo)men, were softball stars in high school and now play for SOU, while majoring in psychology.
Fiona, also a first-year student and psychology major, pushes back against the question, “What career are you shooting for?” “Right now, my ‘career’ is learning as much as I can,” she answers.

Rather than following a format in which the AAUW “elders” offered their stories and wisdom and students then asked questions, the conversation was back and forth.

We talked about what had shaped us, whom we admire most (our mother was the hands down winner), speaking up for oneself, finding what we’re good at (which may not be where we started), believing in oneself, taking risks, demanding equal pay, creating a support network, the power of internships, and much more.

Jaycee, at one point, shared the advice a mentor once gave her when she was fretting about an upcoming job interview: “Think like a white college boy” (i.e., entitled).

What was perhaps most stunning about these six young women was how hard, very hard, they work in and outside school. Almost all have part-time jobs, contributing if not paying for tuition at SOU. “I sleep from 1 am to 5 am,” one student said.

Despite the challenges, they are optimistic about carving their own path. Garima has figured out a seemingly perfect strategy for holding at bay her parents’ determination to arrange her marriage: she plans to join the Air Force after graduation and acquire the advanced nursing certification she seeks, along with space and respect from her family.

Having the opportunity to share stories and learn from SOU female students on the cusp of “becoming” has been a blessing. The students’ thank yous afterwards suggest that it’s been a gift for them, too.